Here's to my experience of giving birth.

This story is recorded for the purpose of own reading but since blog is not private, the story is open to be read and shared. Different women experience different pain and story so this is my side of story of giving birth to my boy (The first one!) Zain Usama bin Zaid.

A month into the marriage, I was blessed with pregnancy and life has been a major change since then. The first month was okay but it got worst from second month until fourth month of pregnancy. My so-called morning sickness does not stay in the morning. It 'happily' drag itself until night and midnight and early hour in the morning. It was horrible! But Alhamdulillah it was not as bad as some that I have read. I have allergy to anything being sautéed which means I allergy to malay food and cooking. I can't cook or smell anything being cooked. My neighbour downstairs has the tendency to cook at midnight hence the puking start as soon as the smell hits my level. I am so glad and blessed that my husband is so understanding. He never asked me to cook so on the days where my sickness were so bad, he would buy me food and I still cannot finish anything I ate so he would finish it for me. Thank you love! Entering my 4 month, the morning sickness starting to fade and I am all okay but I still cannot smell anything being cooked, the process.

So this is where misunderstanding started. But since I am pregnant, I let that go and ignoring any problem that was not mine to care though it directly hit me on the face.

I quickly learned the baby's gender on my 4 month of pregnancy. Maternal instinct telling me it was a boy. The doctor too predicted it was a boy.

I gained less than 10kg during my pregnancy. I try to read the surah suggested but most of all, I tried to read Quran everyday.

on 23 October 2012, I did my monthly scan at private clinic, just to make sure the baby is okay. She volunteered to do check-up on dilation as well but I politely rejected since I don't feel to comfortable about it. Upon returning from the clinic, I saw a trace of blood and I asked my husband if I need to go to the hospital like the doctor suggested. He asked his kother (my mother in-law) and quickly it became her worry. My mother in-law asked me to go to the hospital right away. I did not feel any pain. I called my mum and she too, asked me to go to the hospital right away since she said that blood trace is one of the sign. So I went to the hospital with my husband and father in-law who was kind enough to accompany us.

I finnaly got to do my check-up with doctor at 12 and I dilated 1cm. I was admitted right away but the process took some time and I finally get a room at 2am. My husband was kind enough to buy me mee goreng mamak so I won't go hungry but it was sad that he can't stay there with me so he went back at around 3am.

After I ate, I tried to sleep but I started having back pain then. So I slept on side and turning to to the side the next minute. I think I did sleep although not so soundly. At one point of the night, I woke up not just because of  the pain in my stomach and my back but now I feel like I just peed. So I walk out to the counter of the ward and told the nurses there that "I THINK my water broke. I don't know because this is my first time"

They laughed because they find it funny eventually. I try to smile too but my back hurts so I can't but I think I did. The nurses asked me to go the Bilik Rawatan so a doctor could check on me. I remember the bed being so high, it was hard to climb up with that tummy and with that pain.

Doctor told me my water broke and that I dilated 3cm at 6am.
"Any time now" The doctor said.

I messaged Zaid telling him that.

After that, I can't sleep at all. The pain from my back to my stomach is getting worse. I lied down, sitting uop, walking around but nothing could cease the pain.

At around 8am, food tray came in and the nurse asked me to eat because I need energy later. I did eat and yes, I finished my food, alhamdulillah but with difficulty. My mum later messaged me, telling me to eat so I will have energy. Alhamdulillah I did that.

Because my pain was unbearable, I pull the curtain around my bed so I could have some peace, some me-holding-the-pain moment. The stomacahce, if I could explain, is almost the same with one where you have diarrhoea. I don't know how long it has been but suddenly a doctor pulled the curtain open and I saw a bunch of doctors came to my bed. As I was in so much pain, I could not comprehend what they were discussing about. But I remember asking the doctor who turned out to be specialist if it's normal if I feel like puking.

"Don't worry Puan, that's normal. I think you have dilated 5cm. After I check your file, please proceed to Bilik Rawatan"

What feels like close the night before suddenly felt so far. Walking became a problem since it was a slow walk.

Before I managed to reach the room, I feel drowsy and everything I ate just now reaching my throat so I just puked right in front of the Bilik Rawatan's door. I was so worried about it that I kept apologizing as I amde my way to the toilet to clean my face and I remember taking a roll of tissue with me, trying to clean it up but the nurses there told me not to and that I should lie down for me to be checked.

The specialist doctor was right, I dilated 5cm and they 'popped' the water, brought wheelchair for me to hop on it and called my husband.

The moment I saw my husband, I feel so calm inside and seeing him was a big relief to me. It was 10am.
\My husband pushed my wheelchair to bring me down stair to the labour alongside a nurse to assist us. I can't remember much what happened in the labor room but I remember being in sooooo much pain and I was asking for a female doctor. I can't recall what really happened but I knew my husband was by my side all the time.

I kept on saying "Nak berak, please, I wanna go to toilet!" because that was what contraction was like.

After saying that for quite some time, one of the many nurses said "Okay patient dah ready" and I remember pushing. A lot of them were saying "Okay puan dah nampak kepala, sikit lagi puan" or "TArik nafas panjang.... okay push... lagi... lagi... lagi... sikit lagi... cepat puan dah nampak kelapa" or even "Tengok perut puan, boleh puan, lagi sikit puan"

"Okay kepala dah nampak... Puan teran lagi puan..."

I pushed with all my might. It was hard and painful but with that one last push I feel relief. I did hear any cry but my baby was placed on my chest right away before they quickly took him away from me.

"Baby boy, 2.85 kilo, 12.18pm. Tahniah Puan" I heard one of them saying. I was too tired to comprehend anything at that time.

Apperently my baby had to be put for emergency breathing because I did not push hard enough that his head went back in so he was drowning a bit but Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah all went well. The baby was placed right next to my bed and I heard him crying. I wanna hold him so much but I can't move. So It was my husband who had the opportunity to take his picture.

I was blessed with baby boy.
We named him Zain Usama bin Zaid.
Zain - Beautiful.
Usama - Feline predator. Also the name of the youngest mujahid during Rasullah time, Usamah bin Zaid.

He was born on October 24 2012. He shared his birth month with his Cik Ngah (Sabihah) and Pak Usu (Zubair)

At first, we husband and wife just want to name him Zain, simple like that but 'thanks' to interference of other people (I am, after all these times, still bitter about it) want the name Usamah. To make them happy, we gave in and put Usama as one of the name. ( I vow that my next baby will have one name only despite people menyibuk). Well now, that's okay, his name is beautiful, like him <3 p="">
He cried a lot, had colic, had to be admitted to hospital twice for jaundice (reading 9! pfft) and fever ( reading 36.7c pfft!) _(learning experience for me having to take care of my baby in hospital I don't an to recall cause it was too sad), very manja, smiles a lot and learn to laugh very early. Alhamdulliah so far I fully breastfeed him.

Now he is 7months and 1 week. Alhamdulillah he has grown up well and so far he was down with fever only once, had his chicken pox but not severe. He can crawl, sit with assistance and trying to stand up.

Grow up well my baby. Ummi/Mama and Abi/Babah love you dearly

Zain trying his first solid. Made cute face but actually he wasn't into it.

Thank you Allah for the opportunity of becoming a mother to a wonderful son. Thank you Allah for borrowing him to me. Thank you Allah