Love is like cornstarch.

It hurts.

when the person you love the most is there but isn't.

It's painful.

When you pretended everything is fine but deep inside it slowly eating yourself.

I have lost will for words, I often do.

I'm not much of a talker after all I know.

I don't know how to make things right by talking to you.

Sometimes I wonder if things will ever get right.

And when I do, I will think of my pay and scheme a plan to run away.

or I will say "I swear I will get out of the house without marriage"

Truth is, I'm tired of being an empty luggage that you hate to have with but you still have to carry it around because you feel responsible for it.

You hate my interest.

You told me I'm too direct with words that often times it hurts you.

I think by having me is enough to be an embarrassment to you.

You said I'm a shame to the society since I don't act like one of its citizen.

You told me I'm rude for saying I want to get out of the house without marriage because you, with angry face told me I should be making you happy, try to ease of things for you.

I never really live up to your expectation Am I?

I never really consult my problem with you or the member of the family because I'm afraid I will turn out not strong enough.

I don't share problem with friends because I don't want them to see another side of me.

I never share my problem with anyone.

I talk to Allah but I bottled it up from human.

You indirectly taught me to be this way.

No, I'm not blaming you.

I'm thanking you for making me this way.

At least I never shade any tears when the going gets tough because I know there is always a way out for every single thing.

I may appear strong.

But deep inside, I'm broken beyond repair.

I never did you proud am I?

I am the -yes-girl for the rest of my life.

Being the first and only child to have the best score in exam is not enough.

Being an experimental child to be sent to the toughest year of matrix life is not enough.

and I thought when I graduated, at least you will be proud.

But the way I see it, you are not.

That's okay.

I already used to it.

I just want to say I'm sorry.

I wish I will die soon so you don't have to see me, don't have to be burden by me, don't have to be ashamed by me.

I love you, more than you ever know.

Broken....