The grateful entry

I still remember THE look they gave,
when I try to speak in English.
They are a bunch of good English speaker and they used English among themselves.
I'm just an innocent one try to improve, try to learn,
try to... fit it.

but when i open my mouth and started using English,
they reply me in Malay instead.

they don't tell if there are any mistakes.
they just keep their mouth shut.

after that they made fun of me, of my effort.
they talk behind my back.
they think i don't know but I thank Allah for letting me listen to their conversation.
on that day i realized they are a bunch of so-called friends that want to bring me down.

"she should've work on her grammar. it's horrible"
"she got a weird way to pronounce words"
"her guts, i hate it. don't use English if you are no good!"

You think i gave up?
Hell no!

i improvised.
but then Allah sent me someone better
someone who is there to help and to criticize me right in front of my face.
someone to tell me that there is nothing wrong with my pronunciation because hers is the same.

and that special someone is my best friend until today.
she is my best friend who never turn her back on me.
she never backs me up if I'm wrong
she comforts me when i have problems.
she is my special someone that goes by the name Jasmine Rosli.

Jas,
besides our teachers, it was you that help me, push me until i can go this far.
besides Barney, it was you who support me until I understand English better.
Besides dictionary, it was you who help me in figuring out the meaning.

I Thank Allah for you.
I'm Grateful to Allah for you.

thank you my tomodachi, nei chinan chinggu, my bestfriend, kawan baikku.

thanks to my mother who helps me, to forgive these people (I will never forget though) when she said
"that's why Jasmine understands you better. she had the soft side of a teacher in her even back then. she has the patience to go with you, to guide you. those people will never get that"

After holding the grudge for almost 10 years, I'm able to let it go now, to purify my heart from the past.
Thank You Allah for Your guidance through my mum.
Thank you Allah
Thank You Allah