It's embarrassing, honestly!

As I stand by the window, overlooking the beautiful moon accompanied with little stars, I can't help but to think of my dream last two nights. I dreamed about.... him.

Yes, the name that has been coming up in my blog occasionally if not frequently.

The worst (or is it good?) part was, I was pregnant (???!!!!!) and I was interviewed by Michelle (is that her name?) of Melodi and she asked me if he ever hit me like how his ex-girlfriends claimed. With his hand on my lap, held my hand, I told the interviewer "Dia tak pernah cakap kasar pun dengan I" and he looked at me, all smile, a genuine smile. The rest, I daresay, a history (cause it was embarrassing)

I think the reason to why I had this weird dream is because I read an article from newspaper about him want to sue his ex-girlfriend Linda Onn. I had some pity because he, obviously a man, cried (I have a soft spot for man who cried T_T) Honestly, after that, I never even think about it. I folded the newspaper, put it where it belonged, unlike the usual me who stole any article that I like, and return to my room empty minded, not even a thought of that news or him. I just don't know why, how I ended up having that kind of dream. From my experience, if I really really like that guy, I will never dream about him. NEVER. I never dream about Cristiano Ronaldo till I severe all ties with him when he moved to real Madrid. I never, till date, ever dream about Donghae. I never, till I cut lose my own feelings, ever dream about my one and only crush. Weird things with him, I like him, as a fan yet, I dreamed about him.

I think I don't like him after all.

These past few weeks, I was teased because I spent longer time than usual to 'read' "Garnier for Men" advertisement. Siblings mocked me for staring at the tv way too long, claimed me to daze (almost drool - HEY I DO NOT DROOL!) when the interview with him has finished and because he has nice body build (that it scares me), yeah, my family teased me for that too.

And this is the first time I show any interest in Malay guy so I think it's big for my family especially when guy is not the topic I talk about (I almost never I daresay talk about guy with my family other than Salman but he is a different case all together). I never show interest in guy even when I used to have close contact with some boys. I don't even dare to mentioned name to my parents though I know they knew and they don't like it (so I ended the story, return the favor of money and feelings cause I really don't have any - even when I claimed I had, don't believe that, I was lying to myself too. I never felt any sort of connection, 또 바보같은 말 뿐야!)

and because of that weird dream, I woke up with my stomach twitching like mad and ended up having diarrhea and throwing up.

I guess even my body could not take such joke, or in this case, a dream.

and I claimed, nothing about me is perfect, yet I'm a perfectionist wannabe.