Bring it on - the memories

(Okay I still can't stop listening to 'Shed the tears')

I got this from Jasmine's wall posted by Kak Nani I think

In December, change your profile picture to an image of a character from the comics, cartoons, or a toy from your childhood and invite your friends to do the same. The goal? To not see a real face on "Facebook" but rather to flood the site with childhood memories. Give it a try! :) Jom kawan2, tunggu apa lagi ^^!

So what's mine? What is the cartoon character that I grow up with?

Yes, Barney!
I grow up with this purple, friendly dinosaur. Barney is a significant character for me. No, I have no plan to big nor purple but how I learn English unconsciously through this TV show when I was 6 up until now. I still watch Barney (I bought the DVD), I sing along to the songs only I upgraded my choice in music.

The kid in me... It never cease to fade.

Obligatory Wednesday morning blabbering

This morning was Carling Cup's quater final with Man U going against West Ham. It was purely an accident that my brother and I saw the schedule. We just had our early morning coffee and sat down in front of the TV to chat and watch whatever that was on TV (which I always, if the remote ended up in my hand, change to these channels: 612,613,614 & 391)

So back to the game....

How disappointing it was to lost 0-5 to West Ham??? (news report was 0-4) It was also an embarrassment considering we won 7-1 to Blackburn just last weekend??? Was it due to the snow that fell down during the match? (Masya-Allah it was beautiful btw) Was it because they played at West Ham's field? Whatever the reason was, the match sucked, the result sucked big time. I fell asleep before the final whistle and to be woke up again a seconds after to be sure of the score. Sure enough, it was the same, Man U still lost. Sir Ferguson was seen pissed off with the players performance on field. At first he sat down full of patient but he stood up during the second half and he rarely did that because the time one can see Sir Alex stands up is when Man U going against Arsenal or Chelsea, sometimes Liverpool but with Liverpool bad record this season who cares to stand up. Anyway, It almost looks like they are taking the match lightly. Yes, although Carling Cup has never been a priority, isn't it nice for them to win and get into semi and final and win the cup? It will add up the number of trophy and a proof to show Manchester United is the King!

Bah!

So to forget the painful memory, I indulge myself with YT videos. Luckily Kev Jumba just uploaded new videos so there you go. Watch his so-called reality TV with his father here (The video is funny no more question ask)--- okay he is re-uploading it because of some problem. He said it on twitter

and Far East Movement's Rocketeers cannot be taken seriously now because these boys (Kev Jumba, Ryan Higa & Chester See) has been making song from the song! and the lyrics and their face and everything was so funny! Kevin said his lips felt numb after they finished filming because of the fake crying. Pay particular attention to Ryan Higa's comical face. That guy to the win! LOL

Even tough guys cry

LOL!!!

and my senior, Faris sunbae (that's what I call him) said hi on chatbox and share with me this great version of Grenade! as expected, acoustic version is the best! and Bruno Mars's voice is<3

Why can't I love you in slow motion?

These days, everything is done in a rush.

We eat in a hurry through drive-through.

We drive in a hurry so we reach our destination far more than safely.

We love in rush because we say we too care to be slow.

We wed in a hurry because... well, I don't know. Better ask those who were married.

But don't you think we need to take time in everything that we do?

Put some thought into it.

I enjoy this song

So much about this crazy game they call love
That I'm trying to understand,
So could you be my best friend,
Before you call yourself my man

L.O.S.E.R. and losing the composure

Loser

Kau tahu macam mana?

Macam kau!

harapkan cinta orang yang tak datang.

Rindukan orang yang tak pernah pandang kau

Kau loser kau tahu?

Kau bercinta sebelum tiba masa

lalu kau meraung satu dunia tika cinta putus di tengah jalan.

Kau menyesal si dia tinggalkan kau kerana perempuan lain

jadi kau berubah untuk jadi macam dia

dan kau pun jadi loser lagi

dan lagi

Loser

adalah apa yang aku nak cakap pada kau

grow up and get life

jangan kejarkan dia sebab dia yang pilih nak tinggalkan kau.

Kenapa kau kejarkan dia macam loser?

dia loser!

bagus dia tinggalkan kau sebab kau layak dapat yang lagi baik!

Tolonglah jangan malukan wanita.

Kau lupa kau ada ALLAH???

sampai hati kau belakangkan Tuhan disebabkan lelaki yang tak pernah kesah nak sembahyang.

sanggup kau lupakan DIA sebab lelaki yang hanya tahu nak rosakkan engkau tu?

Kau bodoh!

Kau loser!

Ya Allah, bantulah kawanku ini!

Penat aku berbual tapi kau tetap cakap fasal dia.

LOSER.

Tolonglah!

Tolonglah untuk tolong diri sendiri sebab takda sape akan ubah kau kalau kau sendiri tak nak berubah.

Beware of what you say!

STOP THIS NONSENSE!!!!

Facebook was fun. When it was pure. Just me, my family, my best friends, my school friends and my TESL friends. It was fun...

Until it was invaded by unnecessary post by Hidayah students. Most of their post tend to piss me off (eg: pegi McD!Kan da faham fasal Palestine? Kan dah faham fasal boikot?) Nowadays I even put my chat box on off line mode because I could not stand being seen visible. One student will always said hi and in the end blabbering about nonsense. And because I could not stand that student, I eventually removed him from my Friend List. Easy right? And my radar of removing people nowadays keeps on growing as I read rude comments from them. Hidayah students and so much for civilized manners! Qiyadah are the same! Kutuk sana-sini. Hidayah! Give me a break! My Teknik students know about manner more than you do! They respect me no matter what and they even greet me nicely when in MySpace and FB. They still regard me as their teacher even when I gila-gile dengan mereka but my EX-SCHOOL??? The STUDENTS??? an embarrassing to the school seriously!

Some are always get carried away with jokes and say rude stuff and I have to remind them over and over again that I am their teacher and elder so they still need to regard me as one no matter what.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy having nonsensical talk with them but yes, there is a boundary they need to recognize. And I am glad to announce that Irsyad and Ezzat still understand that perfectly well and that is why I like to do all the merepek things with them along side a few other girls (and gladly banat sangat2 hormat no matter what! Banat mmg PALING BEST!) (but this does not mean I am not cautious with whatever you guys said!)

And right now I am monitoring one boy. One more mistake from him, that's it, out of my list, annyong goodbye adios ada aku kesah =)

Usah

Maaf students, jangan perasan kalau aku suka melayan kau. Aku hanya anggap kau adik. Jangan la perasan sangat. Wajar mintak pelempang kan?

Hai dugaan guru muda (mudakah??? Aku pun naik bot yg sama la kalau macam tu)

Astaghfirullah! Turn to Allah, he will always guide you Mawa---♥

Indah aku untuk mu

Via IluvIslam.com

Dengan nama Allah... sebaik-baik Pemberi Ganjaran.

Namamukah yang tertulis di luh mahfuz sana?
Engkaukah yang bakal menemaniku jalan menuju syurga?
Dirimukah yang akan melengkapkan separuh dari agamaku?
Aduhai pria.

Adakah kau yang tercipta untukku?
Jawab pertanyaanku ini.
Jawab!

Kau takkan pernah dapat memberi jawapan,
Kerna jawapannya bukan di tanganmu,
Tetapi di tangan-Nya.
Di tangan Tuhan kita; Allah,
Tuhanku dan Tuhanmu.

Gelisahku memikirkan dirimu,
Dan ketakutanku memikirkan Tuhanku,
Aduhai pria,
Maafkan aku,
Ketakutanku pada Tuhanku melebihi kegelisahanku memikirkanmu.

Jemput diriku pabila waktunya tiba,
Sebelum sampai saat itu, biarkan aku sendiri bersama Si Dia,
Akan kucipta cinta bersama Dia,
Sebelum kucipta cinta antara kita.

Jadilah dirimu kumbang yang hebat,
Dan doakan aku agar menjadi bunga yang mekar,

Untuk itu, Aku tinggalkan dirimu pada-Nya

Sesungguhnya aku bertawakkal kepada Allah Tuhanku dan Tuhanmu,
Tidak ada suatu binatang melata melainkan Dia-lah yang memegang ubun-ubunnya,
Sesungguhnya Tuhanku di atas jalan yang lurus.

Usah bersedih atas perpisahan sementara ini,
Jika benar aku tercipta untukmu,
Tiada apa yang dapat menghalangnya,
Sebelum saat itu tiba,
Berdoalah pada Allah moga diberi kekuatan,
Mohonlah padanya dengan penuh mengharap.

Yakinlah pada janji Allah!

Wanita-wanita yang keji adalah untuk laki-laki yang keji, dan laki-laki yang keji adalah buat wanita-wanita yang keji (pula), dan wanita-wanita yang baik adalah untuk laki-laki yang baik dan laki-laki yang baik adalah untuk wanita-wanita yang baik (pula). Mereka (yang dituduh) itu bersih dari apa yang dituduhkan oleh mereka (yang menuduh itu). Bagi mereka ampunan dan rezki yang mulia (surga) [Surah An Nur: 26]

Sesungguhnya Allah takkan pernah mensia-siakan pengorbananmu,
Bilamana kita tinggalkan semua ini kerana Allah semata,
Yakinlah!
Akan ada sesuatu yang indah untukmu di pengakhiran nanti.

Dan sesungguhnya hari kemudian itu lebih baik bagimu,
Daripada yang sekarang (permulaan),
Dan kelak Tuhanmu pasti memberikan karunia-Nya kepadamu ,
Lalu (hati) kamu menjadi puas.
[Surah Ad dhuha: 4 & 5]

Beruntunglah kamu!

Tatkala Allah memilihmu untuk menyedari hakikat perhubungan antara lelaki dan wanita

Allah memilihmu!
Jangan pernah sia-siakan kasih sayang Allah ini.

Maka Allah mengilhamkan kepada jiwa itu (jalan) kefasikan dan ketakwaannya
Sesungguhnya beruntunglah orang yang mensucikan jiwa itu
Dan sesungguhnya merugilah orang yang mengotorinya
[Surah As Syams: 8-10]

Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang mengatakan:
"Tuhan kami ialah Allah" kemudian mereka meneguhkan pendirian mereka,
Maka malaikat akan turun kepada mereka dengan mengatakan:
"Janganlah kamu takut dan janganlah merasa sedih;
dan gembirakanlah mereka dengan jannah yang telah dijanjikan Allah kepadamu
[Surah Fussilat: 30]

Dan tika kamu merasa lemah,
Mohonlah kekuatan dari-Nya,
Allah itu dekat,
Yakin pasti.

Dan jika syaitan mengganggumu dengan suatu gangguan,
Maka mohonlah perlindungan kepada Allah,
Sesungguhnya Dia-lah yang Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Mengetahui. [Surah Fussilat: 36]

Kamu dan aku adalah intan terpilih,
Berdoalah aku kuat dan tabah untuk menjaga kilauanku,
Berdoalah tiada sang kumbang durjana merosakkannya sebelum yang halal tiba,
Aku juga sentiasa mendoakanmu agar dalam peliharanya,
Sentiasa.

Untuk Baizura & 'Ammar Taqiyuddin, Selamat Melayari Bahtera Perkahwinan =)

(okay obviously curi kat FB ^^)

You and I and goodbye

in memory....

Slowly but surely I will leave everything behind. Nowadays, I rarely update myself with the happening of k-pop. I want to but I just don't want to. I know I am contradicting myself now. I guess my parents prayer will be answered very very soon.

Just for the last time, I will be there. One last time. A goodbye because that will be a sweet memory and also a regrettable one.

Thank you for being there, make me happy and make me sad. Make me confuse and make me wanna fight. You are sure my unforgettable memory

A painstaking memories and a lovely ones, I will hold it dearly in my heart ---♥

Writing

I write less this year.... I figure that.

What so LOL about this post? =)

Happiness in the Basket

Pretty weird title I figure.

This week was a happy+worry week for me. I was asked by mak to take care of my grandma whom was admitted to hospital. At first it was decided that Balqis will do it however Allah is the greatest planner. We only plan but in the end Allah plans other thing which is even better. Balqis told my mum (in that annoying sulky face of her) that she wants to go to school on Monday and she will take care of my grandma on Tuesday onwards. So didn't want to argue further just burst in to my room and ask me if I can take care of my grandma. Without even thinking I said okay and start packing up my stuff.

So I went to hospital and I was glad to learn that grandma was placed in the first class ward which means aircond and privacy. Staying in the hospital, I learn a lot. I learn how to take care of grandma better, how to be thankful with that health that Allah gave us and must must must take care of your health.

My grandma went for eyes surgery to remove the coting that covers her eyes caused by diabetes. she also had a contact lense implant so she could see better than before.

Alhamdulillah everything went on smoothly. She was inside the operation theater for two hours and a half. Yup, I was counting because I was sickly worried.

For the first time ever, being away from internet gave me tranquility. For four days straight without even trying to look out for it. Being an internet addict, even a few hours away from internet makes me insane but Alhamdulillah, a few days and I still alive.

And when I came back, the situation is much better when I learn Jonghyun (Shinee, not my dearest in CNBLUE) is dating Shin Se Kyung (So happy that for the first time, someone in SM can openly tells about his dating life without even caring about those stupid netizens. Honestly even Kangta is still single. Way to go JongKyung!And now I heard something about Taec and Sica. Nyahahaha~) and listening to SNSD's new mini Album (and waiting for the MV release starring the ever religious Siwon훗, 훗~)

Okay, nonsensical talk is so not to be done here. I leave it at that. Going to spazz somewhere else about that.

네 화살은 trouble, trouble, trouble

훗, 훗, 훗~

someday

Someday when I am 25, I will ask myself, how does it feels like to be 23 because right now I ask myseld how does it feels like to be 16 when I saw my students hanging out, talking and laughing with their friends.

No problem, nothing bothering them.

they don't have to think about what to teach each day nor do they have to be worried if they did something wrong because no one will judge them.

I just realized when I am mixing with people that working is a pressure especially when you get to work with the very wrong person.

It's not that stressful but they tend to put their stress on to others and blaming their environment instead of themselves and THAT makes me stress. I mean, come on people, you are older than me, can't you think rationally?

Oh yeah, they don't have it. No wonder they are acting so weird, even when they are a grown ups.

Someday when I'm married, I will ask myself, how does it feel to be single? Because right now I feel weird watching people around my age got married and have husband. The beauty of marriage is that it will gives you tranquility but what if my tranquility will not involve marriage?

^_^

Someday when I am big and mature enough, I will ask ask myself how do I act childish because right now I am just being childish and mature but never too mature and never too big.

Bottom line is....

Hey Mawaddah, try to be thankful with what you own and have because someday you might lose this feelings so keep it while it's there.

Oh! Drama=)

Drama F4 dijalankan masa PMR. Penggunaan Dewan Qadisiyyah rupanya dilarang. Mana aku tahu, aku main hentam. Kecewa pada awalnya. Backdrop da lawa, railway da smart, baju mereka jangan cakap, memang mantap. Diakhirnya, masalh timbul.

Banat bising di musolla sedang ada calon khas di 2 Taqwa. Banin bising di dewan sedang ada calon khas di dewan Taqwa.

Orang mengadu. Kak Dira datang cari aku. Kesian Kak Dira penat lari-lari. Aku pun turut berlari mencari penyelesaian.

Tak, mereka tak marah tapi aku kecewa. Students prepare da macam apa, last-last, tak jadi juga. Jadi sekarang macam mana?

Zahier nampak aku hampir menangis. Bukan tunjuk lemah tapi kecewa tahap parah. Lagi pula dia tu da macam adik lebih dari macam students. Jadi tak lah malu mana (sedang dia pun da pernah menangis depan aku)

Zahier kata sabar, dia tolong panggilkan. Alhamdulillah

Aku tak dapat fikir. Kepala serabut segala.

Aku tarik nafas. istighfar. Mungkin ini ujian.

Aku penat dah.

Kak Net datang pujuk. Kak Keena jenguk sejukkan hati. Aku bersyukur ada teman memahami.

kepada students aku datangi, minta maaf dari hati.

Okay, 11.30am kita mulai, PMR dah habis masa tu.

Tunggu

Tunggu

Tunggu

Irsyad dan Ziyaadi mencari. Katanya Ustah Rashidah mengamuk, izin tak diberi.

Pelik, bukan da minta ke izin? MT kan Matematik? Matematik 4 Ittihad kan Mak yang ajar?

Tak larat, janji. Akhirnya, semua aku batalkan. Kepada 4 Ittihad, aku mohon maaf, tak dapat buat hari ini. Mungkin lain kali.

4 Imtithal teruskan. Aku berlari lagi mencari Ustazah Rashidah, mohon maaf. Rupanya berlaku khilaf, MT dalam jadual ialah Matematik Tambahan. Manalah aku tahu...

Aduh ujian lagi. Istighfar makin banyak, minta Allah ampuni diri.

Hampir stress, elak jadi calon khas PMR saje.

Namun Imtithal sangat sporting, janji! Lakonan mereka, taklah mantap namun menghiburkan hati. Tengok Taufiq pakai dress la yang paling menggeletek hati.

Alhamdulillah semuanya berjalan lancar.

Kepada Students 4 Imtithal, tahniah diatas kesabaran anda.

Kepada 4 Ittihad, terima kasih di atas kesabaran anda.

Ana sangat bahagia jadi Guru Batch kepada Batch 13 =)

Veil - The lady who wants to cover well

It's hot...
seriously...

Because I am wearing two headpieces.... Oh wait, three

scarf and 2 thin hijab that equals to one hijab.

I am down with cold and now I am feeling a bit mess because of these two hijab. But I have no choice. the outer hijab seems to be kind of thin. So avoid someone touching my neck while goes "ni nipis ni, kenapa tak pakai alas?", I'd rather wear two and prepare myself for the hot weather.

Oh Allah, why is it hard for me to do it sincerely? Aren't neck area is supposed to be covered and that goes without saying?

It's not like I will die....

I am fighting with myself and this really affect my mood. I don't to walk much but I had to go to SRIH just now.... Ujian

I don't want to talk much and suddenly people come to me and ask a lot of thing.

I want to stay at my place only but this jubah is bothering me because it's long.

Oh Allah, forgive my sin...

O Children of Adam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover yourselves (screen your private parts, etc.) and as an adornment, and the raiment of righteousness, that is better. Such are among the Ayât (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) of Allâh, that they may remember (i.e. leave falsehood and follow truth). (Al-'Araf 7:26)

Reminding myself is I ever forget

"Rasulullah (SAW) said: Two are the types of the denizens of Hell whom I did not see: people having flogs like the tails of the ox with them and they would be beating people, and the women who would be dressed but appear to be naked, who would be inclined (to evil) and made their husbands incline towards it. Their heads would be like the humps of the bukht camel inclined to one side. They will not enter Paradise and they would not smell its odour whereas it odour would be smelt from such and such distance."

and hijab is not a choice Mawaddah, it compulsory, an obligation, the way to Allah's paradise

This girl has officially graduated

Just like that...

Alhamdulillah

Funny story behind all this.

I managed to get my convo heels a night before the convocation itslef because I was searching for the right shoes inside my wordrobe but it was just too bad I don't own the right shoes. I have 8 heels but none fit the specification for the event, fully covered shoes. So in the end, I asked Mak to drive me to Jusco Tmn U and I managed to get the shoes, very nice heels.

Or is was just my excuse of buying new heels.

Anyway about the baju kurung, mine was not extravaganza at all. A simple vicous cotton that is really comfortable to wear. I was planning to but this very very beautiful all-white jubah. But the my hope was crashed when Put and Falah told me that they are not allowing all-white attire. Too Bad then. Thanks to them I have saved 250. But still I want to buy it. But not now but I will.

Or it's just my way of owning more jubah.

Can I keep my convo Jubah then? ^_^

Thanks mak, bapak, besties, teslians in general for the moral support.

and the most important....

THANK YOU Allah for your love and grace.

Because He loves me

and I want to thank You Allah for Your love that knows no boundaries....

Last Saturday, I went o Seremban with my mum and siblings. With a little time that we had, Alhamdulillah I managed to go to Pearl Haya, a brand of trendy muslimah Hijab that I have been planning to buy after seeing my aunts wore it. ThoughbI know it's expensive, might cause me arm and leg... well not to that extend but you know what I mean. Plus wearing this kind ofhijab I believe it'll make my life so easy since I am not a big fan of ironing clothes.

So my aunt drove us to Pearl Haya (that 'us' include me, my mum, Umar, Muhsin and my three other cousin). As I went inside the boutique, I saw a lot of eye-catching hijab. Very trendy, very nice, very sweet, just how I like it.

Soon, I found myself trying out a few. My mum was there but she was there not to buy but to inspect what I'm going to buy. I took a few. But my mum was shaking her head, her language of saying no.

Honestly, in my opinion, the hijab already follow the syariah. Throughout my life, I never wear my tudung above chest level. But mum has another thing in her mind. I was debating with her saying this is good but she still said no. So I asked the salesgirl if she had something bigger than this. So she showed me the Umrah tudung with the size of P11. But the thing is that one is custom made, no ready stock. I have to order and wait a few weeks before I get it.

The waiting.....

"Kalau nak beli biarlah yang betul-betul menutup. Bukan cukup2 makan je" My mum said.

It really hurts my feelings. So in the end, with a very heavy heart, I ordered two P11 size. Deep inside, I still have sincerity in doing that because P11 plus custom made plus the waiting cost me more the 150 for one tudung.

For almost 24 hours whenever I reminded by that, I will be in a bad mood and feels like not talking to my mum.

Astaghfirullah....

But then, Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Allah loves me... I had the instinct to continue reading the book 'Agar Bidadari Cemburu Padamu' where I left it. This morning, I happened to read this Ayah from Quran that was shared in the book

. O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e.screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allâh is Ever Oft­Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Al-Ahzab: 59)

Astaghfirullah....

I am such a bad daughter for ignoring my mum's concern. She told me that the extra charge I was paying is my extra effort to book Allah's Jannah. Astagfirullah...

Thank you mum, thank you for reminding me aboout Jannah and Hell.

Thank You Allah for giving me such a great mum. Alhamdulillah I am a Muslimah!

And alhamdulilah, Allah still loves me despite how sinful I am...

I was so far from you
Yet to me you were always so close
I wandered lost in the dark
I closed my eyes toward the signs
You put in my way
I walked everyday
Further and further away from you
Ooooo Allah, you brought me home
I thank You with every breath I take.

-Maher Zain, Thank You Allah

A logic of changing

bukan pandai main pun, placing je lebih. But practice makes perfect, no? =)

Eid?

Great, except for the fighting part, emm not so great ^_^ But that is only natural right? Who likes to fight?

and after I started working, with that salary, Alhamdulillah Allah gave me the opportunity to make little kids happy. This year, I give rather than receiving. I am happy but that also means I am growing old. But hey, age is just a number right. But still, the number that matters. Students, do you want duit raya yang tak banyak mana ni? Do come, eat something, tell me you are sorry and then, there you have it, duit raya^_^

Bowling...

Honestly, my family has been in to this sport for the past 10 years but I haven't found the right port in this game. Emak, Bapak, Ammar, Nina, Amni, Balqis, Muhsin and Umar are good bowler. I thought I suck that was the reason why i held myself from playing this sport. But during Ramadhan, I think I found my love in this sport. I just discovered, even when, yes I suck, i can play and it was not that bad after all. Can I laugh HAHAHA for discovering this talent? Nah, I just gave myself a pat on the back. Congrats Mawa, you are so smart (let me be, I am convincing myself)

days?

Goes like normal, like usual. Morning with shout form mum trying to shake me off my bed. She succeed of course. We are talking the power of my mum's voice here. I need to start key in marks for 4 Imtithal.

Heart?

Lately shaken. By prayers of whom I wonder. Like a hurricane. I am still praying for my own good but what i thought is my own good sometimes is not good for me after all right? Allah has stated that in Quran. Allah knows better. I pray, doa. He knows what's best for me so i'm praying for what He thinks is the best for me.

I have the logic of changing...

p/s: Wanie - I've read your comments but I just smile and nod. You know sometimes I lack of words too! hehehe

I just haven't met you yet

True that.

Because of eid, meeting family is a must.

and because the increasing of age, one question is expected though asked in thousands different ways.

"kakak da ada boy?"

"kakak bile?"

"datang ni kosong je ke bawa jemputan?"

"da ada mat?"

"mana yang sulung? da kawin ke?"

haish... Can I stay single for as long as I like?

I like it like this.

No responsibilities...

My dad told me the only way for to be a responsible person is through marriage which I declined and rebutted.

I hate ironing my own clothes and after marriage I have to iron his?

I don't even fix my own breakfast and after marriage I have to fix for his?

I love eating spicy foods

I hate staying away from family though often times I fight with my little sister

I love internet

I hate math

The only answer I have right now is

I just haven't met him yet.

and I know I will not meet him for the next few years (hopefully=] if Allah decides that way)

So Prince Charming, I am not ready yet so don't come out now. I am no damsel in distress, the opposite to be exact^_^

Marry....

Although I am famous for being one who is not into the idea of marriage (Insya-Allah for now) but I read this from a blog belongs to a friend of mine. I read it with interest.

Sweet and sour. For those who afraid their purpose will be rejected, try these. Good luck! (a.k.a. What a muslim guy would say to a girl he really likes because of Allah)

1. Marry me so I don't have to lower my gaze every time you walk into the room. (mawa: sweet right?)

2. Would you like to help me wake you up for Subuh prayer? (mawa: I need help=])

3. Girl, when I saw you I said masha-Allah, then I said insha-Allah.

4. Are your feet tired? Because you've been performing Tawaaf in my mind all day long. (mawa: I hope he is not like this=/ He would scare me otherwise because sorry to say, this sounds like a pervert)

5. How would you like to help me fulfill half of my deen?

6. You are the reason hijab was mandated. (mawa: ....me? like seriously?)

7. Allah created everything in pairs, so what are you doing single? (mawa:.... I have a lot to say but I let this one pass)

8. I'd like to be more than just your brother in Islam. (mawa: I could never be your brother because I'm a girl)

9. Do you believe in the hereafter? Oh you do? Then you know what I'm here after.. (mawa: Oh yes I do believe in hereafter but I just don't get the meaning of the second sentence...)

10. Girl you put the fit in fitna. (mawa: that sounds sexism, frankly speaking)

I don't speak much, real life wise but I tend to write up a lot.


Eid Mubarak to all my readers, especially the one who tells on my father about every update on my blog. Thank you for doing him the favor, Minal Aidi wal faizin=)

Like a child

I was 12 until I was 21...

28102010

I saw that person again

The one person who made my heart flutters 5 years ago.

I thought I was letting go.

I thought I would be okay if I ever saw that person again

Yet the feeling of wanting to hide and never to see that person again came in to me naturally.

I was avoiding again.

Not noticing but that was what I did.

I am not proud of that.

That stupid feeling, I'd keep it to myself.

The first time I ever spoken about it openly...

I don't care if you want to judge me over my stupid crush.

That person was just a stupid crush.

I will never be with that person and that person will never know I HAD a crush on that person.

The good guy, he'll never notice me.

Not meant to be ^_^

Funny how all dreams come true

To tell you the truth, I was hoping to see this. Even when I was filling up the form, I did it half-heartedly, like I was not meant for it. I'd rather stay here. Heck,I want to stay here. This is where my heart, home, family, the paradise of the world is.

I was advised to call KPM but still I feel that what's done is done. I was not pick and this is what I want so I should be thankful to Allah.



How do I really feel right now?

A post dedicated to my Jasmine

Assalamualaikum.

Jas, no matter what happened, you know I'll be by your side. You family needs you and I know this will make you have a better living.

and remember, ask from Allag for any hardship and happiness you have. He will never neglect you and will always be there for you as long as you ask.

Love you my dear soul sister♥

Kau faham tak?

Kau faham tak bila orang tak nak jumpa?

yang da sudah tu sudah la!

Yang dah lepas tu, dah la!

Tak usah nak cari-cari untuk bincang sebab tak de apa-apa dah nak dibincangkan.

Nak kawan? Tak payah la! Aku tak ingin la ada kawan macam engkau.

Kau pun mesti tak nak ada kawan macam aku.

Aku memang tak suka sangat pun kawan dengan lelaki ni.

Tak penting.

Dah la. Kau sejarah buruk aku. Aku sejarah buruk engkau, end of story kan?

Apa la masalah engkau ni?

Tu la, lain kali ada problem, console dengan orang tua, bukan buat tindakan sendiri.

Fikir guna akal. Kita ni manusia, bukan monyet.

On life and oh!

It's been such a long time since I last update my blog. It's not that I am busy during my first week of working but it was due to pure laziness. I swear I am everywhere in here. Internet is after all my 'husband' that I want to take care of and fall in love with until I find it hard to look at any other things anymore.... Okay that was full of exaggeration. Well, you know what I mean.

The first 2 weeks, I had to watch over the exams class. Went in and out of the classes, put on my most serious face I have/own. Then during the holiday, I practice with choral speaking girls for Musleh's Carnival (and Hidayah won the best team although we lose at Choral Speaking).

Day in day out, I have been here for a month. I gained experience of working and best of all I think I learn a lot more about myself. Working is tiring but how do I managed myself from getting extremely fatigue is the other thing.

Trust me, for working here for 2 months, I have work on things that only expereinece teacher would gain. I trained a choral speaking which I never even did before, I became a debate teacher, something that I could do well when I am quarrellings with Balqis, Library teacher though I rarely read nowadays. But then again experiance is the best teacher, right?

and to people who asked why I look fat, in the defense of myself for once I am not fat. I just gained weight. If there is something wrong with gaining weight and have a plump cheeks (that do not drown my dimple) then I guess you just have to deal with yourself, people. I am happy with my life. Stop destroying this life. And just for the record, I am glad I am still single^_^

Tahniah

Seorang lagi kawan lama yang sudah selamat menjadi isteri. Tahniah buat Nurliyana Sulaiman. Agak kesal tak dapat hadir kerana menghadiri jemputan yang lebig afdhal bak kata mak di Terengganu. Moga Tanggungjawab dapat digalas dengan baik.

Ha siapa lagi lepas ni? Nak doakan yang terbaik untuk kalian. 3 dah bertunang. Lagi? Batch kite ada lebih kurang 60 orang.

Sekarang sedang menanti kelahiran anak Ayu aka Zahurahani. Dapat jadi auntie Mawa tak lama lagi=)

Malam ni ada dinner walimah senior sekolah, Salman Hishamuddin pula.

Kembali ke Bumi Hidayah

Dan sangat senang hati untuk berbuat demikian=)

Walaupun orang kata, "malu la nak datang sekolah"

walaupun ada orang berjanji "Lepas amik keputusan SPM, aku takkan datang lagi"

Walaupun ada yang menyebut "Takde sebab la nak datang sekolah"

Tapi tidak bagi ku.

Kembali berkhidmat di bumi Hidayah sudah menjadi satu matlamat. Gajinya mungkin tak setinggi gaji kerajaan tapi suasananya takkan dapat jumpa di sekolah kerajaan. Kite bole bentang sejadah kat bilik guru untuk buat solat sunat Ishra' dan Dhuha dan takkan ada sesiapa pandang kita pelik kerana ibadah dalah suatu perkara biasa. Sambil-sambil tunggu kelas, tengah takde kerja, bukak Quran dan baca, takkan ada orang datang cakap "Eh alimnye dia". Sangat bebas dan selesa melakukan kebaikan.

Walaupun tahu iman ini taklah semantap mana tapi ini juga boleh menjadi proses tarbiah buat diri sendiri. Alhamdulillah, bersyukur pada Allah atas ruang dan peluang yang Dia kurniakan. Ini bagiku adalah satu cara membalas jasa baik guru-guru yang telah mendidik aku satu ketika dahulu.

Ada juga suara sinis mengatakan aku tak layak. Namun Allah tetapkan aku berada disini makanya aku rasakan ia adalah peluang terbaik bagiku membaiki diri.

Alhamdulillah atas nikmat, alhamdulillah atas segalanya.

Andai tiada perkara menghalang, aku bercadang untuk teruskan berkerja di Hidayah sehabis tamat kontrak 5 tahun ku di sekolah kerajaan. Moga segala urusan yang baik itu Allah permudahkan=)

Dear Putri=)

(Bay Memories, 2008)

Dear Putri Mubina Sujak,

Happy Birthday! I really adore you for your hardwork, your coolness and to be counted as one of your best friend, it such an honor^^

♥~

To Falah...

(click for full size)

Happy Birthday! I don't have money to splurge to buy you something expensive, nor do I have time to make something extra spacial for your birthday.

I am sorry. But I did something^^

Enjoy the (LQ) video (read the description for you to know why it is so LQ)

Happy birthday my dear besties Falah!

너에게 미쳤었다

I don't want to stay another minute

I don't want you to say a single word

hush hush hush hush

There is no other way

I got the final say

PCD's Hush Hush cause I am seriously tired of people asking me on my every pimple there are on my face. If killing is legal, I would kill each and everyone who asked me of it. Or better yet, I ask them RM5 when they ask "kenapa muka kakak makin teruk?" cause explanation is tiring.

So today I went to SMIH's ihtifal and I helped out my mum on her food selling. It wasn't that tiring because I enjoy the company of little Nadia Hishamuddin. She is so bubbly that I really enjoy her company. She also bought me ice-blended. Thank you Nadiah=)

But the tiring starts to hit on me when my family and I went to my grandparent's house for a visit. Everybody, all my uncles and aunties start to gather around and attack me on how and why do I get so many pimples on my face.

So how do you reckon i handle the situation? Do I need to tell them that I spent 4 hours straight thinking and analyzing data for my PSM's Chapter 4, non stop? Or do I tell them that I had spent too many hours on the bed after I am done with my PSM? or do you think I need to tell them the wee hours I spent on the table studying?

The answer, none of the above. As rude as I may seem to be, I went up to my grandma's room and went straight to the bed

The thing is, I am very much comfortable in my own body.Be it if I am fat otr thin or my face have no pimples or it has a lot, it's MY BODY! It's sad when they only acknowledge outer appearance as compared to inner beauty.and It's evenmore sad to acknowledge that meeting families has been an upsetting event for me lately (an exception to nucleas family). And I am bloody mad with the boyfriend talk. I have told them for the 943854398543754856929834832752485 times that I HAVE NO INTEREST IN HAVING BOYFRIEND yet everytime I went online, facebooking to be exact, my auntie will open the chatbox and started bombarding me with speculation saying things like;

"ha, kakak buat ape online ni? Chat dengan boyfriend eh?" Habes, kalo takde boyfriend tak leh online la?

"Kakak chat dengan sape tu?" dengan Donghae

"Kakak ni bile nak ada boyfriend? Umur da berapa ni" Mak pun tak kesah, asal ek orang lain yang sibuk??!

"Takkan la kat utm tu xde lelaki yang kakak nak?"How many languages can you say "none of your business" in? Orang datang sini nak study, as decent and lying as that might sound, I have no time to went out and socialize. That's not me!

The pain of being a human is when people start to compare you with another human being that you are not very fond of. Detest!

But then i realize, every single thing is a test from Allah. To be happy is a test, to be sad is a test. And I know the reason why I'm facing this is because Allah loves me. I am happy to know that fact. So Mawa, be strong! Allah is by your side. I'm pleading to Him that this sadness will go away, this madness will be wiped out and this hatred will be gone. They are my family anyway and no matter what happen I still love them.

(Not so) Little Sleepyhead Mawa

Seriously guys!!!! It's has worsen day by day!

I am, almost, all the time sleepy.

This is how my life go on the day when I have no paper; I got up early, approximately at 5am everyday and around 8am I found myself nuzzling and cuddling my pillow under my purple blanket. I woke up at around 2pm and feel sleepy while doing my work or studying, I will put my head on the table for awhile and then I went into slumber. Because, of course sleeping at table is not nice so I will crawl back on my bed, spreading my blanket that I have folded and yes, sleep again. Nowadays, rain will starts to pour at 4pm together with thunder and lighting. Honestly I want to wake up but then if I ever did, I can't even switch on my laptop so, with no guilt, I continue to sleep. I will wake up at, usually, 9pm and go down to buy dinner, take bath, some reading and I will start to yawn again around 1.30am. I'm still sleepy now. I type this while lying comfortably on my bed. And right after I post this, I will go back to sleep with SeoHwa's couple dream (been dreaming about them for the past 3 days).

I have no hope for MBC since they started the strike. It's just so frustrating!

And I might or might not go to back tomorrow.

p/s: To Falah, sorry there was something wrong with my phone so my phone was bombarded with message when I woke because there was something wrong with the phone.

p/s2: to Farah and Putri, be careful other people's place! Put, take a very good care of our little Princess!=)

p/s3: Farah-ssi, good luck with ILETS!

Try to follow me

That was a song actually, the title that was.

Okay about this whole following stuff, I don't want to make my sidebar crowded with so many things because I like to keep it simple (even with everything that I have on my sidebar right now are too much I think). So as you can see, I don't have a blog list. So instead of having a blog list, I will follow your blog. How does that sound? tempting huh? So if I do follow yours, I have a better suggestion, why don't you try to follow me back? The key word here is not 'try' but 'follow', it's kind of asking but at the same time forcing=)

Okay? Okay!

Spare Me the Sermon On Muslim Women

This is like the best article I read this whole week (not counting Quran because Quran is the best book throughout this life and hereafter)

The best thing about being a muslim woman

It irks me that I even have to say this: Being a Muslim woman is a joyful thing.

Blessings abound for me as a Muslim woman: The freshness of ablution is mine, and the daily meditation zone of five prayers that involve graceful, yoga-like movements, performed in prayer attire. Prayer scarves are a chapter in themselves, cool and comforting as bedsheets. They lie folded in the velveteen prayer rug when not in use: two lightweight muslin pieces, the long drapey headcover and the roomy gathered skirt. I fling open the top piece, and it billows like summer laundry, a lace-edged meadow

I am lucky, so lucky because I am a muslimah=) Alhamdulillah. Even I'm a bit naughty, I shall never stray from this path of righteous.

내가 잘못했어

(he is soooo in love)

For liking you so much....

너무 아름다운 사랑...♥

Losing the composure

Because I was afraid...

Tadi, masa baru bangun tadi, kena gigit nyamuk. Aduh, memang berbisa lah. Maka tangan ni tak dapat menahan itchiness yang bukan kepalang dan terus mengerakkan jari-jari agar kurang itchiness. Namun, keitchinessan itu tidak mahu pergi. Maka keliahatn tangan ini merah seperti kena cakar.

Tak semena-mena, teringat pada kematian arwah Din Beramboi (Al-Fatihah) yangmati kerana denggi berdarah. Denngan penuh rasa kecuakan, terus google tanda-tanda denggi. hasil bacaan, inilah

tanda-tanda denggi klassikal:

sakit kepala (tidak,alhamdulillah dah lama tak sakit kepala walaupun "demam" PSM), sakit di belakang mata (Tak ada simptom sakit mata), sakit otot dan sendi yang diikuti oleh ruam yang timbul pada hari ketiga hingga keempat (Baru-baru ni mameng ada sakit-sakit tu semua tapi tu sakit perempuan...). Bintik-bintik merah di bawah kulit juga boleh didapati (emm...Takut sebab ni dah ada....). Dan hasil daripada ujian makmal menunjukkan jumlah leukosit dan platlet dalam darah menurun (Ni hari jumaat ni cek).

Demam denggi berdarah

Demam denggi berdarah mempunyai 4 ciri klinikal utama seperti demam yang sangat panas, perdarahan, pembesaran hati dan kegagalan sistem peredaran darah. Perdarahan yang berlaku adalah seperti bintik-bintik merah di bawah kulit, perdarahan hidung, gusi(memang jenis yang berdarah), darah dalam najis - najis berwarna hitam, kencing berdarah dan kadang kala mendapat haid yang berlebihan(....).

Demam denggi berdarah mempunyai tanda-tanda di atas dan juga pendarahan seperti:

l Mudah lebam (Alhamdulillah tak)

l Pendarahan di bawah kulit, pada hidung atau gusi (Yang ni memang dari dulu lagi)

l Ia boleh diikuti dengan pendarahan seluruh badan yang juga membawa maut

Sifat nyamuk Aedes

l Gigitan pada waktu pagi dan senja. (5 pagi - 8 pagi dan 5 petang - 8 malam) - [hak! baru kena tadi, pukul 5:01am.... )

l Bertelur dalam air mati yang jernih.

Confirm la ni, memang kena cek. Pada kawan-kawan yang lain, sila la ambil langkah berjaga-jaga. Sekarang ni bala Allah datang dengan pelbagai cara. Bertaubatlah sebelum terlambat. Dan sudah tentu kata-kata ini ada kena mengena dengan pos di atas.

Banana

I'm addicted to them...

Not a productive weekend

Nothing is ever so productive after my VIVA. Funny how I can't seem to do anything. All I did was listening to rock songs. Other than that, there are a few thing that I have been trying to do;

1. Trying to log in to e-learning which is an utter fail attempt. Any UTM site is best view using UTM's IP address only. Technology much huh?
2. Trying to finish Dr. Halim's assignment which is another fail attempt. I kept reading but I cannot seems to type the proper question T.T. Oh Allah, free my mind from any distractions, because You know how easy I am to get distracted.

Just now I met my mum and she bought me dinner^^ I haven't eat anything for the whole day except for my herbs pill, innershine drink and healthy drink, nothing too substance. So when mak called me this afternoon, asking me to come down to cafe, I was more than happy to do so. Plus, I got to see Balqis too. She just finished her PMR Ceramah somewhere in UTM so she was there too.

EST tomorrow... Good luck my dear friends^^

(useless post T.T)

LAST: Exam Timetable

I pray to YOU because all the wiseness belongs to YOU

I pray to YOU, because all the goodness comes from YOU

I pray to YOU because YOU are my Al-Khaliq

I pray to YOU because I am nothing without YOU

and I pray to YOU because YOU are all I have

and I am YOURS Ya ALLAH YA RAHMAN...

TIMETABLE
5 April 2010 EST 9am-11am KTDI

9 April 2010 CALL 2 9am-11am KTDI

13 April 2010 Current Educational Issues 9am-11am KTR

16 April 2010 Testing and Evaluation 9am-11.30am KTHO

21 April 2010 Method of Teaching Science Computer 2.30pm-4.30pm

Other things to take note;

1. Send in PSM yang sudah berjilid to: Supervisor, Faculty (2 copies)
2. Before I went back, to send ala chapter 3 to Faculty office for inventory purpose

Insya-Allah, I will finish this with success, bi taufiq wan najah♥

and because I think too much, I indulge myself with "the food of death"

Vye VIVA Vye

FLY... Fly to the Sky

Finally I had my VIVA today. For all of you who don't what VIVA is, well it's presentation for final year students to present their research. I honestly don't know what does VIVA stands for so if you know, please leave your comment^^

The morning before my presentation, I message everyone that matters to me: My mak, I call bapak, I messaged my bestfriends: Jasmine, Azzat, Falah, Farah, Putri and Salman and not forgetting my supervisor, Dr Masdinah. The content was pretty much the same, asking them to pray for me, so Allah will make it easy for me.

I won't say the presentation went perfectly well. There was a moment when my heart went out and say "I hate you too" but it was only for a second. But all in all, Alhamdulillah I managed to finish it in 1 hour (when the actual time allocated is only 20minutes).

Yesterday was my usrah day. Unlike the usual day where we will have it at one of the collage room but today, well it was the first for me and second for them, we went to P23. Aside from having a good conversation, a tazkirah for the thirsty soul, the scenery was beautiful, well even when the plane is old and green, it still is... unique.

Including a few pictures that I took yesterday=)
(Will edit it later, something went wrong with blogger =/)

EDIT

faceless, not heartless

Ja and I. I like this=)

I jump, you die; Adventurous by nature and I really did jump=)

and I am just going to miss them^^

Kak Raihana giving advice, always useful, always meaningful

Ja the soft spoken girl

Aina, the girl that could brighten up my day with just her smile. Aina has such a nice smile. Her laugh is also contagious=)

Kak Zida, always sweet and I always love to listen when she talks.

Pia always has a story... well stories to tell.

Kak Iken and her cute dimple and her voice too=)